The Good News About Pork

After years of criticism
and frequent episodes of outright hostility,
some members of various religious communities
seem to be turning over a new leaf.

No longer considered to be the scourge of the religious right
Thinking people all across the globe
are pounding upon their tables,
lifting their knives and forks to their mouths,
and pledging a new type of religious reform.
Such narrow-minded bigotry will no longer be tolerated
After all, what is the difference between
cows, chickens, horses and pigs?
And at the risk of offending some of my friends
who are tigers, alligators, turtles, porpoises and deer
I say enough is enough!

Besides, what kind of person would discriminate
against an animal who was born to have four tiny three-inch legs?
But when I think about it, somehow it comes as no surprise
Shallow people have been born to drown people
who might have had the urge to try to swim too deep

So before you begin to swallow your courage,
pack up your bags and abandon your gumption
I would suggest that you begin to hold out
just a wee bit longer
Because any optimistic person will surely see
that it can’t be all that bad
Certainly every Tom, Dick and Harry
is surrounded by a Gorgeous George, Happy Harold
or Bartholomew James

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